Zombie Grrl Uncensored

Up and Running….Kind of…

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 13:27:08 +0000

have moved my blog from Yahoo 360 and will soon be adding more here. taking a break for a bit…
bright blessings, all
xo em

a desperate plea

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Mon, 18 May 2009 20:52:02 +0000

okay, this isn’t *exactly* the type of nurse i want to be….(it could be fun, however, provided i get through what’s ahead in the next few days)…

i’m rather precariously perched on the FAILING side of the line between passing my class and graduating, free to take my state boards and move on with my life….and not passing my class, not graduating, not taking boards and wondering where i’ll live and how i’ll support myself as my divorce becomes final and the bills come due….

it’s unenviable in many ways, though i am blessed for the opportunity. believe me, i know there are many who would love the chance to go to school and have the shot that i’m getting….sigh…..

please, please, please… if you are so inclined, if you can help me just by keeping a good thought for me Wednesday and Thursday morning this week as i take my final exams….please, i beg of you, keep that good thought, pray to whomever or however you do. i want to be a good nurse and i want to be able to help people….i’ve worked so hard, fought illness and life’s little stresses (death, assaults, divorce…you know, life!) and by law, if i don’t finish this quarter by passing and graduating, i am done: i will not be able to re-enroll for quite some time (if ever! since i’m going to school where my soon-to-be-ex-husband works & i go as one of his beneficiaries) and it will be as if i *never attended at all.* it’s taken me longer than the average bear, and so this is it: do or die. i want to succeed and have been studying like never before! the stress alone seems it will kill me. i know that if i can get through this i can make a difference for people who are ill, suffering, feeling alone and scared. a small prayer, if you care to, is all i’m asking.

my indebtedness to you, my very kind friends here, is beyond measure: your words and stories have inspired me, your lives and messages touch me deeply. my wish for you is that all your dreams come true, and you find you can depend on others and know the power of their faith in you, themselves and the world.

brightest blessings of love and light, and may you be blessed, always,
xo
emery

Bright Belated Beltane Blessings

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Sat, 02 May 2009 22:21:48 +0000

hope your Beltane was filled with love, joy and sex! it’s the humping holiday, in my book! he he

some info about this sabbat:
Beltane (Beltaine, Belltaine, Bealtaine, Beltain, Beltine, Bealteine, Bealtuinn, Boaldyn), meaning ‘bright fire’ or ‘lucky fire’ is held on May 1st (May 15th in Scotland) and celebrates the start of summer, the crop and pasturing season. Although scholars are non-commital, many of us believe Beltane honors the ancient continental Celtic sun and healer God, Belenus.

Father Sun shines brightly
Warming mother Earth
Joining in creation
Nurturing growth

At Beltane, we open to the God and Goddess of Youth. However old we are, Spring makes us feel young again, and at Beltane we jump over the fires of vitality and youth and allow that vitality to enliven and heal us. When young we might use this time as an opportunity to connect to our sensuality in a positive creative way, and when older the mating that we seek might well be one of the feminine and masculine sides of our nature. Integration of the male and female aspects of the Self has long been seen as one of the prime goals of spiritual and psychotherapeutic work, and Beltane represents the time when we can open to this work fully, allowing the natural union of polarities that occurs in nature at this time the opportunity to help us in our work – a work that is essentially alchemical.

For an excellent discussion of Beltane see The Stations of the Sun: A History of the Ritual Year in Britain by Ronald Hutton.

sorry i haven’t been here much, i still luvs you A/all!!! i promise!!! starting now and backing up to when i was last here: nursing school is out-of-control: i’ve never been this close to NOT passing a class in my life! EVER! i signed up for tutoring this week, and i have chosen to limit my “extracurriculars” *severely*!! ~sigh~ well, hopefully, i will be able to get caught up and pass…my livelihood is depending on it….literally! i’ll be divorced soon and on my own…things with ichiban are still strained, but we are dealing and amicable. it’s hard to be in the house without him, and it’s hard to be in the house with him…so goes extracting oneself from another’s life. surely y’A/all can relate?

backing up a little? at the beginning of april, i became infected with a water-borne pathogen (cryptosporidium) after drinking contaminated water from my own goddam faucet!!! i found out about the water main break in my town TWO DAYS AFTER IT OCCURRED!! i was sick for the better part of april and got really behind on my school, staying in touch with ppl and well, everything. i’m feeling better now, but it was a long road. i had to have IV therapy for a couple weeks and IM shots of a medicine so i could eat. ~shakes head~ always something.

backing up further than that? at the end of march i was raped. yes, it was awful. yes, i am ok. no, i was not “physically” hurt. no, i didn’t go to the police. he he, he’s been “re-educated” and is being watched. and yes, i have learned a couple things about myself and am moving on. i can’t change what happened, only what i take from it and learn. allow me to say this: if you get “warning bells” in your head? LISTEN TO THEM.

so, um, yeah. it’s been a rather trying, but epiphanic, few weeks. i’m hangin’ in there. sometimes if it weren’t for bad luck, i think i might not have any at all. ~chuckles grimly~

again, i ask for your patience as i get thru things. i *HAVE* to graduate, & so i need to focus on school. it’s so difficult to do….so many distractions and so many things have happened lately. i miss my friends and i miss my online peeps, too! dear friends, all.

bright blessings to everyone, i hope you are enjoying good weather and good times.
peace,
xo emery

Happy Ostara!

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 06:30:49 +0000

Happy Spring, E/everyone!!

Today the hours of night and day are balanced, little plants sprout forth, stretching themselves to the sun, which gives us its warmth and light. The Vernal Equinox is celebrated in many cultures and has been for ages and ages. (i’ve included a little piece about it at the end.) It is a time of renewal, for planting seeds and making plans. It is my favorite time of the year!! Hooray!!

so much has happened in the past month or so for me, it’s almost unreal. i am recovered, mostly, from the accident in January and thank you so much for all your well wishes. ~hugs and kisses~ i am truly blessed to have such dear, sweet friends. i will give you a brief update here, if you PROMISE not to make a big deal out things, dear friends! because i am doing so very well and it’s a beautiful day, another precious gift of Life for us all. after all, today we celebrate the light and the dark, in equal measure.

the unthinkable has occurred: ichiban and i are separating after close to ten years of marriage. we remain best of friends and look only for the other to be happy and well. i am holding up just fine: although it has hurt like hell, i am excited to be on my own and free once more. in addition, boo and i remain friends, but no more. ichiban is in love with her, and she with him, and although they are damned adorable together, i find i cannot bring myself to be more than friends with either of them…i will always love them both, however.

my family initially shunned me for our decision. they are quite traditional and are taking the breakup harder than we are, it seems. but i can’t and won’t live my life for them. my extended family does not yet know of things, and i extend my sincerest apologies to any friends who are finding this out for the first time here and believe they should have been told in person. please understand that is has been absolute chaos and no slight is intended.

in other news, i have a couple new play partners and have been dating quite, um, over-regularly. he he. had a lovely w/e: 3some with *awesome* friends on friday. he is tall, dark and handsome; she is like a young sophia loren: brown and brown, olive skin and curvy. not to mention they are two of the funniest and warmest people i have ever met. i am so glad they are in my life!!! woot! and then a 4some with a (i hope to be) regular partner (who i will call Mango) and 2 new ppl. totally hot and so much fun! i’m sure i can create an erotic tale or 5 to share with those who care to read it. in related news, i am finding that the kink and poly community here is quite incestuous, not that i mind that, but it is rather eeriely cool to keep running into ppl and to find everyone knows everyone.

other break ups: ditched the scamp (of the “Take Me Now” blog) to the tune of the Jerry Springer edition of how to learn one of your bf’s is a fucking douchebag. that is to say, she found out about me and i about her when she let herself into his house with her key and i was there after a dinner date with him. yes, yes, yes! it did happen! ~shakes head~ you know what, friends? i only ever asked for his honesty and friendship-plus. period. some dickheads can’t even do that, i guess. unbefuckinglievable. i didn’t care that he had a gf! but to lie? no way. and the pain he caused her? unforgiveable. so he’s gone & yeah, it hurt. however, with him out of the way, i can focus on ppl i really like and that deserve my attention.

st pat’s day was awesome! i was at a cuddlefest drinking party with about 14 other people and a new special friend whom i will call by one of his nick’s, Taco. He is so sweet, tender and loving and has the most amazing smile that goes all the way to his dark brown eyes. between him and Mango, i am one very, very happy grrl.

so i think that is most of the big news. school starts a week from monday. EEK! it is do or die, i HAVE to graduate by june or it’s like i never did any nursing school at all! i go back to the bottom of the waiting list and have to start over from scratch! so, please, wish me luck!!

looking eagerly to the future, boys and grrls,
and wishing you brightest blessings of joy and peace,
xo xo emery

Ostara — Spring or The Vernal Equinox
Also known as: Lady Day or Alban Eiler (Druidic)

As Spring reaches its midpoint, night and day stand in perfect balance, with light on the increase. The young Sun God now celebrates a hierogamy (sacred marriage) with the young Maiden Goddess, who conceives. In nine months, she will again become the Great Mother. It is a time of great fertility, new growth, and newborn animals.

The next full moon (a time of increased births) is called the Ostara and is sacred to Eostre the Saxon Lunar Goddess of fertility (from whence we get the word estrogen) whose two symbols were the egg and the rabbit.

The Christian religion adopted these emblems for Easter which is celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the vernal equinox. The theme of the conception of the Goddess was adapted as the Feast of the Annunciation, occurring on the alternative fixed calendar date of March 25 Old Lady Day, the earlier date of the equinox. Lady Day may also refer to other goddesses (such as Venus and Aphrodite), many of whom have festivals celebrated at this time.

Traditional Foods:
Leafy green vegetables, Dairy foods, Nuts such as Pumpkin, Sunflower and Pine. Flower Dishes and Sprouts.

Herbs and Flowers:
Daffodil, Jonquils, Woodruff, Violet, Gorse, Olive, Peony, Iris, Narcissus and all spring flowers.

Incense:
Jasmine, Rose, Strawberry, Floral of any type.

Sacred Gemstone:
Jasper

Special Activities:
Planting seeds or starting a Magickal Herb Garden. Taking a long walk in nature with no intent other than reflecting on the Magick of nature and our Great Mother and her bounty.
from: http://essenelife.com/celtic/akasha/ostara.htm
Copyright �� 1997-99 Akasha, Herne and The Celtic Connection wicca.com. All rights reserved.

Happy Ostara!

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 06:14:13 +0000

Happy Spring, E/everyone!!

looking eagerly to the future, boys and grrls,
and wishing you brightest blessings of joy and peace,
xo xo emery

Ostara — Spring or The Vernal Equinox
Also known as: Lady Day or Alban Eiler (Druidic)

Traditional Foods:
Leafy green vegetables, Dairy foods, Nuts such as Pumpkin, Sunflower and Pine. Flower Dishes and Sprouts.

Herbs and Flowers:
Daffodil, Jonquils, Woodruff, Violet, Gorse, Olive, Peony, Iris, Narcissus and all spring flowers.

Incense:
Jasmine, Rose, Strawberry, Floral of any type.

Sacred Gemstone:
Jasper

Hello world!

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:39:52 +0000

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

my new cat

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 20:53:40 +0000

looks are deceptive; she packs a wiley wallop. mm mm mm.
hope y’A/all had a fun w/e!!!
xo emery

ee cummings for my valentines

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 21:46:35 +0000

i like my body when it is with your    body. It is so quite a new thing.    Muscles better and nerves more.    i like your body. i like what it does,    i like its hows. i like to feel the spine    of your body and its bones, and the trembling    -firm-smooth ness and which i will    again and again and again    kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,    i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz    of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes    over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big Love-crumbs,

    and possibly i like the thrill

    of under me you quite so new

Cougar

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 10:34:15 +0000

By Emerald • Feb 12th, 2009 • Category: Erotica, Lead Story (from Good Vibes We Blog Sex)

And so am I what they call a “cougar,” the young Mitch wants to know? And I can only smile. Mitch thinks he’s cool, thinks he’s tough, thinks he’s “on to me” in all his 25-year-old wisdom. And it’s true, he is a little older than the many of the ones I’ve often gone after. But he’s not the oldest I’ve tackled — not by far. Because while yes, I certainly am what they call a “cougar,” I’ve done my share of men my age too. And older. Because more often then not, I like to take whatever cock comes my way. Fortunately for me, plenty of it keeps seeming to.

I do have a special fondness for the young ones though. Mitch smiles impishly, thinking he’s just been bold in showing his knowledge of the term and calling me on it. I laugh internally. Maybe he has been bold. More bold, perhaps, and more knowing, indeed, than some of the 21- and 22-year-olds I’ve picked up on college campuses, bars, restaurants who seem more scared than anything else as I walk up and ask them if they’d like to fuck me. While it has initially seemed to petrify some of them, I haven’t yet had one turn me down.

At times I know they’re already hard, and I want to reach down and grab the stiff cock ready to slide into me and stroke it right there, in the middle of the grassy campus on a sunny day or the edges of a dim bar on a Saturday night or wherever it is we happen to be. I want to shove up against them and stroke the hard length under their jeans and ask them if they want to be in my wet pussy right now like I’d like them to be. I want to see that shocked look on their young faces as I murmur filth into their ear with their peers standing just a few feet away or streaming by on the way to class.

Some are better than others, naturally. But I like to think that when I leave them, they’re even better than they were before. I hope they’ve not only learned whatever technical knowledge they have with me, but that they’ve seen what they’re capable of. That they know they can please a woman, and how incredible it is to do so. It’s important, and it works. It works to have a 36-year-old woman — not only a cougar now but certainly a “slut” in her pre-cougar-age days — brazenly want to fuck you, be obviously turned on by you, show you not only what she likes, but that you are capable of giving it to her.

And that’s why I hope, and believe, they’re better off after I’m done with them. I’ve left every one of them with a smile and a kiss and a look meant to cement that feeling of confidence within them so they’ll know how to give one hot fuck to the next woman that comes along, and the one after that. It’s almost as though I consider myself a kind of veritable jump start to sexual pleasure, setting off a series of sparks that turn to flames that turn to a collective sexual heat burning throughout society — a sincere, confident, knowledgeable one. Which is exactly what makes it so hot.

I harbor no delusions that I started this on my own, of course. I thank the countless cougars that came before me that educated the boys I fucked my way through college and beyond on, developing the roaring carnal desire that still drives me now and sends me back to those college boys to give back, if you will, and see that the lovely young sluts coming up after me get the same — if not better — variety of sexual, college-age bliss I did. I’m certainly not one to fail to see the virtue of sharing. The more the merrier, as far as I’m concerned. And I want everyone to be just as merry as they can be!

So Mitch believes he’s called the game. And that therefore perhaps it’s over. But while Mitch is cute, and charming, and is already out of college and on to grad school, he may still benefit from a slight shift in perspective. It’s possible he thinks being a cougar is a less than worthy — indeed less than commendable and glorious — endeavor, or one he might not have use for. I would beg to differ. And thus I take on a new assignment, considering it almost my duty to offer him an experience that may enhance his perspective, make him that much more attuned to sexuality — his own, his future partners’, and the general sacredness of it and importance to us all.

“A cougar? A woman who is older — say 36, which happens to be my age — who fucks younger guys?” I confirm to Mitch, who almost flinches at both my casual use of the word “fuck” and similar mention of my age, making it hard for me to maintain my curious expression over a lighthearted laughter — not mocking him, of course, but rather seeing what it is that calls so much for his use of me.

I stand up, say, “Why don’t you come with me, Mitch,” and back up from the outdoor table at the cafe near the law firm where he’s interning. Mitch does indeed stand up and come with me, his previous surprise apparently leaving him flustered enough to not know what to say, and as I hail a cab I sense just a little bit of nervousness under that tough veneer. And that’s okay. It means what’s really underneath is starting to come out. That’s part of the process. He is likely in new territory, and that brings nervousness out of a lot of us.

In me, on the other hand, is heat. The low, primal, carnal heat that I feel when I’ve connected, when I’m well on my way to a hard cock inside me and the rush of letting a young man know just how he’s making me feel — and if he’s not making me feel that way, showing him what he needs to do in order to.

First lesson: I’ll ask him if he has a condom. If not, this experience should teach him to carry them more carefully. One never knows when one might need one.

Second lesson: I’ll ask what he wants to do to me. If he knows, I’ll give him the opportunity as such, and if he doesn’t, he’ll get to learn. Mitch, it seems to me, will probably think he knows. He’s probably used to being in charge, and I’ll see how that works for him — and for me.

But it’s not all planning with me either. In general, what I really hope is that I lose myself in the experience. That I find myself screaming blindly as an eager young cock rams into me, my tits flailing, heat exploding in my belly — in short, that it’s so fucking hot and hard and messy that I forget what I’m there to do.

Because then I do it even better. If I get done a sweaty, breathless mess who can’t even remember her own name, I know that what I wanted to do has been fulfilled, and I didn’t even need to think about it. The energetic exchange that occurred did something far more than any words from me could. I’ll know that he’s a spark on his own, well on his way to creating orgasmic fire across the board of all the partners he chooses. And I’m happy to have thrown on some gasoline.

My pussy is wet now as I sit beside Mitch in the back of the cab. I want to rip his pants open and take his hard cock in my mouth right here. But I’ll wait. I want to see what Mitch does when someone openly offers to let him call the shots, when he’s put on the spot in a position he may be used to taking for granted or thinking he is “supposed” to have. That could be because it just comes naturally to him, or it could be a bravado covering something inside him that may be helpful for him to recognize. Either way, or even if it’s something else entirely, I’m ready with an interest, a smile, and a hot wet pussy. All are his for the receiving.

I drop my hand to Mitch’s crotch and hear his surprised int
ake of breath as I grasp the rock-hard cock beneath his khakis. I smile as I bring my hand back to my lap. And he is mine for the taking.

Emerald is a contributor here on the Good Vibrations Magazine. She has been a writer since age seven, though her repertoire did not begin to include erotica until her early twenties. Her erotic fiction has been published or is forthcoming in anthologies such as Swing! edited by Jolie du Pre, Sex and Music and Tasting Her edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, G is for Games and K is for Kinky edited by Alison Tyler, and Best Women’s Erotica 2006 edited by Violet Blue as well as online at Good Vibrations Magazine, Oysters & Chocolate, and The Erotic Woman. Currently she resides in suburban Maryland where she works as a webcam model and serves as an activist for reproductive freedom and sex workers’ rights. She may be found online at her website, The Green Light District, at www.thegreenlightdistrict.org.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i loved this story/article….not only is is sexy, but it demonstrates female sexual power and that, imho, is one of the sexiest things there is. i feel a bond with the storyteller: so often, women’s sexuality, pure & raw, is misunderstood/belittled by words like “slut” or “cougar.” it’s important that we own these words, because there’s nothing wrong with being female, turned on, tuned in to what you want, and getting it. and i know several young men who would readily agree with me. ~winx~

have a fabulous friday!
blessings,
xo emery

Getting Happy

zombiegrrlhasnocensors — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:37:14 +0000

getting happy

By Dr. Charlie Glickman • Feb 9th, 2009 • Category: Blog

I recently heard about a fascinating bit of research on the ways in which happiness spreads through social networks. After a little digging, I found the article “Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study”and I think it has some interesting implications for sexuality.

Just to be clear- the article isn’t specifically about sex. The researchers surveyed people on their level of happiness and looked at the happiness level of people in their family and social networks to see what relationships existed. They put it together in a graphical format (link to the right), as well as applying statistical models to analyze it. In the graphical representation, “each node is coloured [sic] accordingto the person’s happiness on a spectrum from blue (unhappy)to yellow (happy).”

One of the things that I found really interesting is that each person’s happiness is affected by people up to three degrees of separation away- the happiness of your friend’s friend’s friend has an effect on you. Of course, the closer the relationship, the bigger the effect but the fact that people that far away have a significant influence on our level of happiness is something to think about.

So how does this come back to sex? I’ve seen over and over how it’s a lot easier to have a happy sex life when you’ve got a social network full of people who also have happy sex lives. My grandmother said that you should spend time with people who are like the person you want to be. She wasn’t talking about sex, but I think it applies here, too. One of the ways that we can move towards sexual well-being is to be around people who value it, who consider it worth working for. Fortunately, even if you don’t have such a community around you, you can find it online.

I think that this idea also highlights how important it can be to talk about the things that make us happy, including our sex lives (when it does, that is). Happiness can spread from person to person and even when we don’t see the effects, it can still be there. In US society, we tend to not talk about having good sex. I wonder what the world would be like if more people could tell their friends “I had the most amazing sex last night!” While there would certainly be some envy sometimes, it might help us to value sexual happiness.

Dr. Charlie Glickman is a noted professional in the field. He has been working at Good Vibrations since 1996, when he joined the staff at our Berkeley store. Currently, he is our Education Program Manager and (among other things) runs our in-store After Hours workshop program, our Off-Site Sex Education Program, trains our Sex Educator-Sales Associates and writes copy for our website. In 2005, Charlie received his doctorate in Adult Sexuality Education from the Union Institute and University in Cincinnati, Ohio. In addition, he offers classes on sexuality for psychotherapists and workshops on teaching for sex educators.